I recently got an email from someone on an RP server who invited me to join her 25 man guild after reading the blog. I very much appreciated the offer but had to turn her down despite her massive love for my recruitment messages. I have no problem with role-play in general and greatly respect those who do it well but cannot stand RP when done poorly. What do I mean by poorly you ask, lucky you, I have made a top five list of what I mean by poorly.
- Vampires. Not just any vampires but sparkly blood elf, too beautiful for existence and full of angst about their condition as vampires. Really, this is how you want to spend your time. Stephanie Meyer has done it as well as it can be done (which isn’t saying much).
- Unrealistic scenarios. You and your boyfriend RP a monogamous Draenei couple, have you seen the sexual dimorphism. The males have to be keeping harems.
- RP as a main lore character. You should never supplement a main character to be Slyyvanass, the Queen of the Forsaken, in your guild event for two main reasons. A) The character you are emulating would never say the lame things you are putting in her mouth. B) She is so badass that when someone went “Lol, newbzz, u suxxor” disrupting your RP event she would melt their faces off, not ignore the insult.
- Emotes of doom. No one should ever have to read, “Elvenwarlord stares grimly into the distance with a troubled but measured appearance on his visage as he tries to discern the figures meandering towards him, around him a crowd of joyless spectators await with bated breath for his words.” Seriously, this is acceptable to you. The prose is just horrific and no one wants to be told that they are waiting for you to speak.
- Chapter long and insanely stupid back stories. You were not carried off by wolves as an infant and raised in the wilderness but manage to have completely integrated into society. Tarzan not withstanding, any children who historically lived through this sort of thing were always scarred for life. No one wants to be involved an two hours of monologue while you share minute details about your character’s life up to this moment. This includes how you felt at your friend’s betrayals (shocked and betrayed, I never would have guessed), your clichéd birth as the chosen one or your early life on a farm until it was destroyed by maruding orcs (or humans). These have been done to distraction and a line or two will suffice.
I do not mean to harp on bad RP as I am sure anyone who ever rolled a toon on a RP server has had to deal with it but I wanted to share my personal reasons for why I don’t care for it. I stand by the fact it can be done well even though I have not seen it done. I left the one and only RP server I ever rolled on as soon as someone started trying to fight their hunger for blood in Silvermoon. /delete level 3 BE warlock